I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I am actually talking to myself, that is, literally talking to myself. I may sound like a total crazy person but really, I do this often that I am actually sometimes confused if I am crazy or not, or if i am having a psychological disorder, or if there is something wrong in my mind. But anyway, yeah, I have been thinking about my present relationship with my husband, and I must say, our relationship, with 3 years on the latest count, has been quite fair. I mean, like, we are actually starting and yeah you can say fresh in this world of marriage. We had bumps and even mountains along the way, but gladly, we overcame all of it. I remembered last year, just before our 2nd anniversary, I found out something which almost caused me to actually breakdown, we had a really huge bump on our relationship, but fortunately, we handled it. Also just a few weeks ago, he got me hurt again by a text that is meant to be sent to another person, but unfortunately sending it to me. I was hurt by the content of the message but it is not actually directly saying that he is having an affair, but after reading that, I must say, honestly, I actually thought he did (but thank God he didn’t..). He called me immediately after realizing that he sent me the wrong text, and there I was, awakened by the call, I read the text first, and I was already crying while talking to him. Imagine that, I just opened my eyes, and there’s this text right in front of me. How can I even have a good day with that situation? Great isn’t it? just great. So we talked, which actually took 2 days, and by the way, we are world’s apart, we only talk via skype. I’m here abroad, and he’s back home. 

I think communication is really important in a relationship. Talking about what is wrong is really essential. We all have differences, but it is what makes us unique, we have to accept that. 

And i learned also that, secrets are not the ones that ruins the relationship, suspicion does.

aren’t you getting tired of those arguments and fights? those taken for granted things and emotions that eventually causes pain. those nights with overwhelming silence, so quiet, its almost deafening. those words that hurt, tears that fell, those moments that feel like its never gonna end.

aren’t you getting tired of broken promises, lies, and a heart that is broken a million times, so broken it doesn’t even know how to repair itself anymore.

coz if you ask me, i do.

wish i will have.. let me dream to keep me from reality that hurts..

goodnight everyone!